During this Sexual Violence prevention Month, the criminal justice response has made headlines.

Unfortunately, this was not positive news about successful prevention programs.  Instead, the headlines spoke of sexual assault advocates feeling frustrated and silenced as a private member’s bill entitled Lydia’s Law was not debated in the House as planned.  This bill, raised by Catherine Fife, draws attention to the over 1000 sexual assault cases a year that are not proceeding through the courts and the role of the lack of court resources that is contributing to prosecutable sexual assault cases being dismissed.

A large body of evidence repeatedly shows that sexual assault is a vastly under-reported crime.  So, when we hear that investigated cases where criminal charges are laid are not going through the system, it is crucial to understand why.

We will not be effective in preventing sexual violence if we do not address the lack of an effective response when assaults occur as well as all of the other contributing factors.

From my point of view, if society truly wants prevention to be successful, there are several things that need to happen.

• We have to face the reality of the current situation.

Society needs to recognize and accept how deeply entrenched and normalized sexual violence is in our society.

If we cannot face the problem squarely in the eye and see its size and shape, we cannot devise an adequate plan to address it.

• We need to de-normalize the idea of sexual behaviours as a means of power and control.

As an example of this normalization, our casual language around sex routinely invokes competition where “scoring”, “home runs”, “hitting it” and “banging” are not viewed as problematic when describing sex.

Language matters. Routinely invoking violence or concepts of winning over another actively shapes our ideas about what sexual behaviour means.

• We need to talk about healthy sexual behaviour and relationships.

Most people continue to get their information from sources that may not provide values and context for this information.

More alarmingly, children and youth are frequently getting their information from online sources of pornography and violent entertainment including music and video games.  The potential dangers of creating this early brain wiring around sexual behaviour cannot be over-stated.

• We need to challenge our power structures.

Sexual violence, like all violence, is a means of exercising power and control over someone else.   If our current power structures support and maintain the ongoing experience of sexual violence for so many individuals in our community, we need to examine them closely and work towards change.

• Interventions after the fact.

We need to dramatically improve our responses to sexual violence, both in terms of the victims of  violence and for those who commit the violence.

If we don’t respond to victims in ways that encourages healing and shows a supportive response that takes actions to keep them safe, the problem will remain underground , continuing to cause societal harm.

If we don’t identify those who harm and respond to them with interventions that create accountability and move them away from these behaviours, then the cycle continues.

What can I do as an individual working to prevent sexual violence? How can I be part of the solution?

• Better understand the scope of the problem.

Approximately 4.7 million women – or 30% of all women aged 15 and older – have been sexually assaulted outside of an intimate relationships at least once since age 15 (Statistics Canada, 2019)

• Notice your language, and that of others around sexual behaviours.

If it promotes violence and use of power, change it.

• If you are in a position to model or share healthy conversations, especially with a young person, do so.

It takes a community to normalize healthy behaviour.

• Look for ways that power and an unhealthy status quo is being maintained, and advocate for change.

There are many voices already raised to change problematic systems, join their causes.

• Support services that support survivors.

Contribute financially, volunteer, advocate for the needs of those services.

• Support accountability and change for those who commit violence.

Recognize that we cannot solve the problem without including actions aimed at those who commit violence.  The programs that do this work require resources as well.

The power to change is both individual and collective. That power is strengthened with each conversation had, each challenge launched, and within each response to sexual violence.  Individually and collectively, it’s time to ask ourselves, “if not now, then when?” and “if not me, then who?”.

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Chondrena Vieira-Martin was appointed Executive Director of Thrive Counselling in 2016. She is passionate about helping people and elevating the community by continuously striving to support individuals and families. Learn more about the many counselling and support services Thrive offers here or connect with Thrive Counselling on Facebook and  Twitter/X